from "Small Liberties"
by Elaine Bleakney
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"Today I am working on an idea that I have been calling 'Small Liberties:' a term that defines the small ways that one carves out personal freedoms and autonomy in an overwhelmingly bureaucratic society." –Andrea Zittel
DAY I
THE CAPTAIN.
She dropped the plumeria on our chests and told us we could slowly begin to end.
Not a total voice waking.
THE WORLD.
All the damp space and cement saying: you will not remember.
THE CAPTAIN.
What I like when my voice is thrown in what’s managed, cut.
Motel with salt breakfast and a bible in the side. “And you shall be a restless wanderer of the earth.”
Feather across.
THE WORLD.
I touched all I could. No, I touched what I wanted. To sleep.
THE CAPTAIN.
Someone to step into when bossy told me what I was.
THE WORLD.
No matter how many, one falling through the first.
My mother asking me to say it back inside a line where I was lost.
THE CAPTAIN.
When there was no space left for what he could do the boy made a smaller boy inside his mouth.
DAY OF NOTHING MONSTROUS
All icing.
Inside my room of rows & clean.
All for going out for paper with birds pressed in.
Blank shooting rows. Haiku to speak. Never talk
my big man messed. Dying. Tossed in his desk set, a scorpion
stinging glass to a dull brass knife. A white bull above
shored in ringlets. His heifer’s nose at mine, smudged
memory, quail in a shirt wrapped blood. Black
tuft from a brain that said sky, please.
Lift, now.
DAY OF OPEN STUDIO
[my Captain's]
All her paintings are white. Blue in the clouds near the window
white boxes to the sky. One marked X.
A suit inside. “If I let it go flying he goes flying out.”
She takes a white pencil around the white of my eye.
Hi.
The storm system roars in Storm Projects next door.
She rolls her eyes. “Sometimes he turns the rain track up so I can hear”
She closes her door. Sometimes ash from a volcano.
Sometimes winter/spring, surprise. Snow crossing her body
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