St. Petersburg Hotel Series:
by Cathy Park Hong


1. Services


See radish turrets stuck wit tumor lights around de hotel
like glassblown Russki kestle wit'out Pinko plight,
only Epsolute voodka fountains. Gaggle for drink?

Twenty rooboolas, kesh only . Step up y molest
Hammer y chicklets studded in ruby y seppire almost
bling badda bling. Question? No question! Prick ear.

Coroner diagnose hotel as king of hotels 'cos
luxury es eberyting. Hear da sound speaker sing 'I get laid in
me Escalade/but I first sip gless of Crystal/den I whip out me pistol.'

No worry. No pistol in hotel, only best surgeon feesh y beluga
bedtime special. Deelicious. But before you tuck in king o'
water bed, befo you watch papa-view,

Be peripatetic y see snow bears merry on a ball or go
Be roused by molten sauna where Babushkas bap your tush
wit boar bristle switch. No childs allowed here. Mo mo?
De blood rust hes been Windexed to amber shine,
de insurrecta's marauding soul wetted into papa-machetes,
de looted radio back in de propa municipal hands.

Here be city of ebening calm, da fire-rilers gone.
If you want true heestory, go watch tailor
maki magic. He more revolutionary den artist.

If you dream only for Paris, dat is right outside de
atrium, beyond de sand dunes, which form y disappear
like mekkinations of human digestion. Sand swirl

to otherworld land where blankets da weight of human
bodies tatter y pill. No tatting, no pilling here. Da sand will
be in your eye, only sometime.


Notes from the Historian:

During orientation, they give new employees a 1994 Fodor's Guide to St. Petersburg, Ins and Outs of the St. Petersburg Hotel, Rules: What not to say to Tourists, and How To Get Around Trademark Infringement Laws. Asked why she chose to be a guide at the Petersburg Hotel, she replied that it was her calling to work as a guide for the great hotel of St. Petersburg and besides her heritage and the heritage of Russians are similar: they both love the combination of dried fish and very strong liquor.




Other poems by Cathy Park Hong in ActionYes #1:
Language Guide
St. Petersburg Hotel Series:
2. Preparation for Winter in the St. Petersburg Arboretum
3. The Fountain Outside the Arboretum
Atop the St. Petersburg Dome