Dear Kiki,

My favorite musical is 'Mother Courage' and I wish you would be in my company. In you, Channel 8 has a reliable brand; an angel who came from a perky-brunette, middle-American woman, and you turned into a burnished-blonde power-broker that I have fallen in love with. If I had you in front of me, I would fill champagne into a million flutes and toast to the world. I don't recall anybody being this much in demand since I got here. I would love for Kiki to be here to do whatever she'd want to do and there's nothing else to say. Kiki Courage, will you marry me? Your smile at 34 is keeping me up at night. In the first moment of waking, I think of your bangs and your soft voice that calls to the world. You are my siren. Forget about Ann Curry. Look at you, my Kiki. I can't believe I said 'my Kiki', but you are everyday growing sleeker and blonder. With each successive clip, I grow somewhat shell-shocked. The nightly news is not for you, you're the glory in every morning. Who watches the p.m. news anchors. They're a bunch of people in adult diapers. You'll wear a red thong for me every morning. I know you often roll your eyes off camera because you know just how much better you are than Press, Belting, and Keith. You carry them all, my miss universe, my Kiki Courage. You're fresh and I'd even take your last name. Call me Derek Courage. Call me Mr. Kiki Courage. Call me Kiki's Boy Toy. Call me anything you want. I'm grateful that Channel 8 discovered you. They knew that you would be willing to give the audience what it wanted-Bob Jones and the big tornado, B.J. Smith's three legged cow, the baby in the cave. Forget Andy Rooney, he's old and dying. Don't even look toward Oprah. I say, "world turn your eyes to Kiki Courage. She'll be up front. She'll kick the tires. She'll tell it like it is. Give them Hell Kiki Courage. Give them something to talk about." I can hear Dad saying "enough" but I can never get enough news as long as you deliver it. When you stare at me, I often press the pause button and stare deep into your eyes. I believe everything you say. I'm mesmerized-hypnotized-synchronized with you, my Kiki Courage, who loves me like the color gold.

<<back           home           next>>